It has been so long since I written that I almost forgot how to sign in and start. Well I have been extremely busy in many different ways. San Antonio was wonderful and it was such a pleasure to hang out with Rona. My soul was nourished by the experience and I found a renewed strength in myself as well. I love the way she loves me. In some critical ways, she taught me how to love- love myself and others. I will always be grateful for what we have together.
The flight went well both ways and I wore my sleeve without any discomfort. I walked for long distances looking at everything- I like seeing and doing new things.
This week, I saw my Radiation Oncologist, Dr. John Wilson and will get my 6 month mammography on my left breast next Friday the 9th. I was suppose to do it in April he said. "OOOPPS", I said. He said they like to do mammography every 6 months for the first 2
years. Gosh- I think it is better to do them every 6 months after the
first 2 years - after all, I would think the further away I am from the
chemo (aka poison) and radiation, the more likely a re-occurrence. But
who am I to judge. I hit my first anniversary of taking my estrogen suppressing medication on May 5. One down, four to go.
He also asked if I do self breast exams and I said no. He was glad I was
honest. He said I should. I am not big on shoulds. He gave me a hang
tag for my shower to remind myself.
Next week I am having my 5 year colonoscopy. Seeing an allergist in August and had a little something taken off from the skin on my chest earlier this month. I think that is it.
Professionally I got some great news. My proposal to give Licensed Clinical Social Workers CEUs for Dementia Care: Coping Without Regret: Avoiding Caregiver Pitfalls workshop got approved with just a few minor corrections / additions. So I approached a local assisted living in the area to see if they want me to give the talk there in September 2017. I am very excited and I will also submit it to give it at the NASW annual conference in May 2018 for the state of New Jersey.
I spent today doing too many errands and fulfilling my responsibilities when I would rather be at home doing nothing these days. Doing chores is hard work. And the list is endless. I dugout an old shrub and planted a new Rhododendron bush. I even got it a bag of special soil for the thing- I hope it is happy. Wish me luck.
I called my friend and handyman Bob, cause one of my toilets is broken and my kitchen sink is leaking. (I put a small bucket under there) So now I can't wait too much longer to get things fixed around the house. Picked up new solar lights for the front garden and a new CO2 detector. Another should- "replace every 7 to 10 years"- last one was installed 1996. Another OOOPPS.
I am having a ball with Facebook. I love watching what everyone is doing and what they like and dislike. Seeing political views of people I went to high school is amazing. Who knew who would become what they are. Life is so interesting isn't it. The truth for me is I really don't care what people think as long as they are happy and healthy. No one needs to agree with me nor do I need to see things their way. Not everyone I asked to be my friend on Facebook accepted. No need to seek other's approval. Live and let live!! I do know for myself, I only want to kind. If I do nothing else with the rest of my life but be kind I will be very pleased with myself! 💗💗💗
Saturday, June 3, 2017
Sunday, April 30, 2017
It Is Time To Wear My Sleeve
I am going to San Antonio Texas early Tuesday morning to attend a conference with the Aging Life Care Association formerly known as Geriatric Care Managers. So here I am having a relaxing Sunday thinking of every thing I need to pack for this trip and wondering how I can do it with much less shoes than I want to bring along. As I am laying my belongings out on my bed, I remember that I need a headband for yoga. And it hits me when I go into my drawer for my hair thingamajigs, that I need to wear my sleeve.
Since I had 3 lymph nodes removed from under my left arm, I went through lymphedema prevention with an occupational therapist. And of course she had a sleeve made just for me. The pressure of flying can trigger swelling which does not sound too bad but I have seen that it can be painful and not always go away. So believe it or not, I am going to do what I was told to do and wear it. The good news is that mine is very beautiful. Swirls of bright colors along with a very pretty bird (see below) - it almost looks like a gorgeous tattoo. So me and my beautiful hair are going to go flying and hopefully get in some walking, yoga and pool time in too.
Since I had 3 lymph nodes removed from under my left arm, I went through lymphedema prevention with an occupational therapist. And of course she had a sleeve made just for me. The pressure of flying can trigger swelling which does not sound too bad but I have seen that it can be painful and not always go away. So believe it or not, I am going to do what I was told to do and wear it. The good news is that mine is very beautiful. Swirls of bright colors along with a very pretty bird (see below) - it almost looks like a gorgeous tattoo. So me and my beautiful hair are going to go flying and hopefully get in some walking, yoga and pool time in too.
“The No. 1 predictor of who gets lymphedema is the size of the arm to start with,” he said. “Women who have a larger arm size should still be careful, and I think there’s still some value in wearing a compressive sleeve on long flights.” It may be more common if radiation is given after surgery.
You may notice lymphedema for the first time during or just after one of the following events:
- Injury
- Infection
- Burn
- Strenuous activity
- Significant weight gain
- Air travel (because of pressure changes)
Wear a compression garment or low-stretch lymphedema bandage when you travel in an airplane. The compression garment should extend to your hand, even if you usually use one that ends at your wrist. If you’re wearing compression garments for the first time, you should test them before your flight.
- Make sure the garment is comfortable enough to wear the entire flight.
- Make sure the garment doesn’t cause new swelling in your hand or arm.
BOTTOM LINE The risk of lymphedema from flying appears to be small.
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Ram Tough - That Is Me
I feel so good I almost feel great. I am 61, been treated for breast cancer, am overweight and feel strong. My mind is well as I can think clearly and I am less reactive to unpleasant situations than I ever used to be. Madison is fine but our beloved convertible got hit from behind which threw her into the back of a cement truck - All this happened last week in East Falls, just down the street from the apartment as she was going to work. She was completely stopped and a SEPTA bus hit the car behind her which then lunged forward into Madison's rear, lifting it up in the air and shoved her forward into the back of the cement truck- Needless to say, the car is totaled since it was a 2002. The front crash missed the bumper all together and the hood and engine crunched under the truck 's rear. Not a pretty site at all. Many people were quick to point out how lucky we were that no one was hurt. Which is true of course. I loved that car and Madison was so looking forward to driving it this summer. Fortunately, she and Brian were sharing her car and his car was back home, so they went and got it and now they will share his car until she gets a newer used car. Hopefully by now, they are sitting pretty at an all inclusive resort in Montego Bay Jamaica. They planned this trip months ago. I hope the weather holds out for them. I told her- if the sun is up in the morning- go outside! because it is likely to rain the afternoon.
I will be traveling soon too. I am off to an Aging Life Conference in San Antonio Texas. I will be there for Cinco deMayo. My friend and colleague, Rona will be there too. I am looking forward to at least one day in the sun, sitting by the rooftop pool. I selected to go to this conference just so I could see Rona. She is a wonderful loving friend and I am so looking forward to our visit.
Also, I am submitting a workshop for approval for CEUs to NASW - New Jersey on how to help caregivers of loved ones with dementia. My private practice has gotten busy too.
I have been able to get hot yoga between 2 and 3 times a week. Boy oh boy, does that ever make a difference. I love seeing my body change for the better- stronger, more flexible and so much better balance. I have been taking my time with making my body smaller. I still like to eat my food rather than drink it. I have held off the 22 pounds that I lost and I am back on track seriously. It is hard as life is too much fun.
In fact, this weekend I am going to a comedy show in support of our troops and Dena Blizzard is the headliner. She was the MC at Madison's Miss New Jersey contest in 2012. Very funny lady. My girl friend Rebecca is going with me to the Ritz playhouse in Oaklyn. Last week I drove up to North Jersey to see 2 mediums- they were excellent and then I stayed over at Caren's house before coming home to get ready for the garage sale. That turned out to be fun day with the family but a flop as far as a sale goes in getting rid of my stuff. The weather turned on us and not too many people came out for it.
As much as I like being busy, I am also eager to rest while I am away and explore the area at my own pace rather than meeting deadlines all the time. I enjoyed the winter for that very reason. Less to do, less places to go and less outside work. I was going to write that it is true- "for everything there is a season", better make the most of it. But then I looked it up and it said there is a season "to hate" because the song is based on a part from the New Testament. I wont accept that hate is necessary. It is a poor choice. And I will leave it at that.
I will be traveling soon too. I am off to an Aging Life Conference in San Antonio Texas. I will be there for Cinco deMayo. My friend and colleague, Rona will be there too. I am looking forward to at least one day in the sun, sitting by the rooftop pool. I selected to go to this conference just so I could see Rona. She is a wonderful loving friend and I am so looking forward to our visit.
Also, I am submitting a workshop for approval for CEUs to NASW - New Jersey on how to help caregivers of loved ones with dementia. My private practice has gotten busy too.
I have been able to get hot yoga between 2 and 3 times a week. Boy oh boy, does that ever make a difference. I love seeing my body change for the better- stronger, more flexible and so much better balance. I have been taking my time with making my body smaller. I still like to eat my food rather than drink it. I have held off the 22 pounds that I lost and I am back on track seriously. It is hard as life is too much fun.
In fact, this weekend I am going to a comedy show in support of our troops and Dena Blizzard is the headliner. She was the MC at Madison's Miss New Jersey contest in 2012. Very funny lady. My girl friend Rebecca is going with me to the Ritz playhouse in Oaklyn. Last week I drove up to North Jersey to see 2 mediums- they were excellent and then I stayed over at Caren's house before coming home to get ready for the garage sale. That turned out to be fun day with the family but a flop as far as a sale goes in getting rid of my stuff. The weather turned on us and not too many people came out for it.
As much as I like being busy, I am also eager to rest while I am away and explore the area at my own pace rather than meeting deadlines all the time. I enjoyed the winter for that very reason. Less to do, less places to go and less outside work. I was going to write that it is true- "for everything there is a season", better make the most of it. But then I looked it up and it said there is a season "to hate" because the song is based on a part from the New Testament. I wont accept that hate is necessary. It is a poor choice. And I will leave it at that.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Gratitude
It feels like Spring today. All my windows are open and I am going to clean up around the house today so I can go to the Cherry blossom festival in Philly tomorrow.
Well folks, it has been sometime since I wrote you and part of that is nothing too exciting was going on. But I am happy to fill you in on whatever I am thinking. For starters, my curly hair has started to change back to what I was born with so the evidence of chemotherapy is slowly leaving my body. I am sometimes at a loss as to what to say to people who ask me how I am feeling because I have never felt "bad" because of my cancer. The treatment was not pleasant but overall, I never got sick from the cancer- I guess if I had, I would not likely be here. It is almost 1 years since I started my hormone (estrogen) reducing oral medication (05-05-2016) which I will take for another 4 years. Next Friday, I will see my medical oncologist.( the one who concocts the poison formula)
One of the things I learned or had reinforced during this experience is how important support really is. Having my friends Carol, Shari, Karen and Maureen to talk to about their experiences and what to expect helped ground me and made coping so much easier than it would have been otherwise. Fortunately, I learned a long time ago that it is okay to ask for support and help. My husband Philip's addiction got me to my knees back in the 80's and I crawled my way to an Nar-Anon meeting. Back then I was ashamed and scared almost all the time. I did finally surrender and learned I could cope with life as it is rather than wishing for something different. I no longer had to be alone anymore either and I could own that I did not have all the answers. The world was lifted off my shoulders and back once I did that.
Just this week I reached out to my former employer and friend, Rona Bartelstone. Rona gave me so much love and support when I was certain that I deserved to be shunned and punished. Besides all the lessons about geriatric care management, she taught me all about the gift of forgiveness. This week she helped me write / edit my submission for a workshop I want to do on dementia care for other social workers. It is all done on line through NASW of New Jersey so I can give out continuing education credits for attendees. The process for the proposal is long and cumbersome. It is challenging for me to take what I have been doing seamlessly for many years and translate that into words in an organized manner so that others can understand and learn how to do what I do.
I am so grateful for all the people who love who did not have to love me. You figure your family is sort of obligated to love you and of course there are wounds when they don't know how, but others still can open their hearts to you. I have been totally blessed in that regard. Patrice McDonald was the first to step up when I was lost and lonely back in 1971-72. My mother had died a few years earlier when I was 12 ( February 1969) and my father had moved me miles away from friends and family by the time I was 13 ( June 1969) and then he married someone who was cold and clearly not interested in knowing or loving me ( February 1970) So I become a 4th McDonald daughter. That is how I got my training in being a good Catholic and that looks can kill when they come from an Irish mother like Kitty McDonald. Elbows off the table, napkins on the lap and please pass that or this and thank you very much were clearly expected behavior 100% of the time. So I shipped up rather than out.
My survival instincts continued as I attached myself to others along the way waiting for my prince charming to show up and rescue me. And we all know that ended badly when Bob asked for a divorce 6 months after we got married.
The take away message from all this is at least 2 points. #1- ASK FOR HELP! #2- Everything that you need to survive is available if you are willing to look for it.
And most importantly, I am sending a sincere warm thank you to all who love me because your love carried me through my darkest hours and it still does. No matter how small you think your warm smile has been, it and you matter to me. ALWAYS!
Well folks, it has been sometime since I wrote you and part of that is nothing too exciting was going on. But I am happy to fill you in on whatever I am thinking. For starters, my curly hair has started to change back to what I was born with so the evidence of chemotherapy is slowly leaving my body. I am sometimes at a loss as to what to say to people who ask me how I am feeling because I have never felt "bad" because of my cancer. The treatment was not pleasant but overall, I never got sick from the cancer- I guess if I had, I would not likely be here. It is almost 1 years since I started my hormone (estrogen) reducing oral medication (05-05-2016) which I will take for another 4 years. Next Friday, I will see my medical oncologist.( the one who concocts the poison formula)
One of the things I learned or had reinforced during this experience is how important support really is. Having my friends Carol, Shari, Karen and Maureen to talk to about their experiences and what to expect helped ground me and made coping so much easier than it would have been otherwise. Fortunately, I learned a long time ago that it is okay to ask for support and help. My husband Philip's addiction got me to my knees back in the 80's and I crawled my way to an Nar-Anon meeting. Back then I was ashamed and scared almost all the time. I did finally surrender and learned I could cope with life as it is rather than wishing for something different. I no longer had to be alone anymore either and I could own that I did not have all the answers. The world was lifted off my shoulders and back once I did that.
Just this week I reached out to my former employer and friend, Rona Bartelstone. Rona gave me so much love and support when I was certain that I deserved to be shunned and punished. Besides all the lessons about geriatric care management, she taught me all about the gift of forgiveness. This week she helped me write / edit my submission for a workshop I want to do on dementia care for other social workers. It is all done on line through NASW of New Jersey so I can give out continuing education credits for attendees. The process for the proposal is long and cumbersome. It is challenging for me to take what I have been doing seamlessly for many years and translate that into words in an organized manner so that others can understand and learn how to do what I do.
I am so grateful for all the people who love who did not have to love me. You figure your family is sort of obligated to love you and of course there are wounds when they don't know how, but others still can open their hearts to you. I have been totally blessed in that regard. Patrice McDonald was the first to step up when I was lost and lonely back in 1971-72. My mother had died a few years earlier when I was 12 ( February 1969) and my father had moved me miles away from friends and family by the time I was 13 ( June 1969) and then he married someone who was cold and clearly not interested in knowing or loving me ( February 1970) So I become a 4th McDonald daughter. That is how I got my training in being a good Catholic and that looks can kill when they come from an Irish mother like Kitty McDonald. Elbows off the table, napkins on the lap and please pass that or this and thank you very much were clearly expected behavior 100% of the time. So I shipped up rather than out.
My survival instincts continued as I attached myself to others along the way waiting for my prince charming to show up and rescue me. And we all know that ended badly when Bob asked for a divorce 6 months after we got married.
The take away message from all this is at least 2 points. #1- ASK FOR HELP! #2- Everything that you need to survive is available if you are willing to look for it.
And most importantly, I am sending a sincere warm thank you to all who love me because your love carried me through my darkest hours and it still does. No matter how small you think your warm smile has been, it and you matter to me. ALWAYS!
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
I Am Adorable- So They Tell Me
My hair has finally become my hair and I no longer refer to it as my chemo hair. My roots are coming in straight and I have these adorable curls at the end and it is so easy to manage and let it go wherever it wants. It is at that stage when I would get a permanent in the 80's and 3 months later it would be perfect. Yesterday, Maureen trimmed my bangs/ top of my head which seems to get heavy quick and all of you know how much I do not like my hair near my eyes.
I learned that Dena Blizzard- One Funny Mother is actually her first cousin once removed- which means that their mothers are first cousins. Dena will be on stage as part of a fund raiser for Veterans at the end of April and I purchased 2 tickets. They are performing at the Ritz playhouse in Haddon Township. Please join in the fun!
Date/Time- 04/29/2017, 7:00 pm
Location - Ritz Theatre, 915 White Horse Pike, Haddon Township,
Event Description - Support South Jersey veterans by enjoying an evening of comedy featuring the former Miss NJ, with Ron Kelly, Bob Marsdale and Tommy Highland.
I learned that Dena Blizzard- One Funny Mother is actually her first cousin once removed- which means that their mothers are first cousins. Dena will be on stage as part of a fund raiser for Veterans at the end of April and I purchased 2 tickets. They are performing at the Ritz playhouse in Haddon Township. Please join in the fun!
Date/Time- 04/29/2017, 7:00 pm
Location - Ritz Theatre, 915 White Horse Pike, Haddon Township,
Event Description - Support South Jersey veterans by enjoying an evening of comedy featuring the former Miss NJ, with Ron Kelly, Bob Marsdale and Tommy Highland.
The event will also include small plate snacks, a veteran’s-themed art exhibit and a cash bar featuring local wine and beer. Doors open 7pm, show 8pm. Tickets $22.50 in advance, $27/50 at the door. Visit https://secure.wcit.net/ritztheatreco/remote.list_shows.php .
Sponsored by the Courier-Post, Ritz Theatre Company, One Funny Mother, Humor Hound, SLK Partners, Sanders Home Services and Camden County
Sponsored by the Courier-Post, Ritz Theatre Company, One Funny Mother, Humor Hound, SLK Partners, Sanders Home Services and Camden County
I just came from seeing my colon doctor- it has been 5 years since my last game of "I spy with my eye" up your colon. Gave him all my health updates and am waiting for them to call me to set it up. Something must be wrong with me as I do not mind the prep- neither the drinking the concoction or emptying out of my body. It will be nice to learn that there is no signs of cancer in my colon- When I did genetic testing I learned that the 2 kinds of cancer are can be genetically related.
I guess this is a season for medical check ups- saw the eye doctor last week as my computer reading glasses did not seem strong enough anymore- They like to get you in there every year for a check up but it had been 2 or 3 which seems plenty enough for me. My script changed slightly so I am waiting for my new glasses and one of my old frames to be fitted with new lens - Distance has not changed thank goodness. When I saw my primary care physician, she was thrilled as my cholesterol was only 175- the lowest it has been in 6 plus years. YAY for me. I take a small amount of a statin 3 times a week. But my weight loss program really sent it down.
So I am turning 61 in a few more days. Poor Madison and Brian. Every day I have been sending them reminders of our vacation from last year. Best vacation ever. No vacation this year. all my resources are in the house- replaced Heating A/C and Hot Water Heater. Oh well.
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Sometimes My Life Feels So Strange
Sometimes my life feels so strange. Clusters of chaotic energy come from nowhere- pushing me in all directions- leaving me gasping for down time to breathe. Little time for regaining balance between each hit. Thank goodness, my experience with rooms of recovery in Florida helped me learn to embrace the flow without needing to question why this or that. Trusting that it will all work out in the end. I only need to live one day at a time or even one minute at a time. That is what the last week or two has been like for me.
First, I attended Michael's memorial service and weeped for his agony. I let my desire to hold him and tell him that I loved him over take me. Just allowing myself to feel that deep hurt and loss, wanting to talk with him over a glass of wine....... moments shared kept flashing before me as I shuttered in the permanence of his life now being over.
Then my heater stopped working and I got estimates on replacing the system along with my air conditioner and hot water heater as my house is 35 years old. I had to resist pressure from different salesmen when I made my final choice to go with Elite owned by Eric Levy. I spent time and energy figuring out the best way to pay for all this considering that I have no savings and am still very much in credit card debt and also have monthly car payments until January 2018. Finally decided to do an 18 month low interest loan on my Discover card that I can pay back at $250 a month and be done in the nick of time.
Then there were several phone calls from people with loved ones that needed education and guidance regarding aging life choices. On top of that, another group of calls, emails and text messages came in from private clients who needed my input for decisions on how to handle challenges in their lives.
I also devoted time to reading and editing my section in Rachel's book that she is writing. In this book, as a call for action, she is committed to demonstrating the necessity of extensive research in brain health in order to provide better care for people with mental illness because it is not about them - it is about all of us- as innocent sufferers who often get lost and disappear due to the ignorance and neglect of our health care providers and system.
Getting to hot yoga, getting to my second job, meetings over lunch, straightening up the house so cleaners could work, coordinating installation of new HVAC system with my work hours, setting up routine oil change only to learn soon after my arrival, I absolutely needed 4 new tires and front brakes too. Use a loaner car and get to work. Perform at my regular job as a geriatric medical social worker on a dementia evaluation team at a local medical school which includes running a Huntington disease support group the first Wednesday evening of every month. Completing application to attend the Aging Life Association conference in San Antino the first week of May 2017 so I can visit with Rona too and celebrate Cinco de Mayo together in Texas! Make airline and hotel reservations and get it all approved in time for early registration. Choosing to help friends with rides home from hospital and baby sitting for an adolescent son with autism. These are the activities that have consumed my days and nights in the last 2 or 3 weeks. Trying to remember to send out birthday wishes to friends and family, all the while sticking to a diet plan, drinking plenty of water, taking my medication twice a day, got my blood work done. And oh yes, create a power point presentation ready for Monday to give at Lourdes hospital and prepare another one for the residents of Brookdale Voorhees on how to treat those less fortunate than oneself with kindness, after all, they live in the same community as the rest of you and deserve to be there without being bullied for being sick.
So you can imagine a few things about me now. I am not very good at staying in touch by telephone with friends although staying close to them matters a great deal to me. But above all else, I must have a healthy fully functional brain at all times, in order to maintain the high degree of performance that my life requires of me. I can never allow myself to become depressed again. Any disease developing in my brain will not allow me to do all that I do. I am blessed.
"You is kind. You is smart. You is important." Aibileen Clark, The Help ~ Kathryn Stockett
First, I attended Michael's memorial service and weeped for his agony. I let my desire to hold him and tell him that I loved him over take me. Just allowing myself to feel that deep hurt and loss, wanting to talk with him over a glass of wine....... moments shared kept flashing before me as I shuttered in the permanence of his life now being over.
Then my heater stopped working and I got estimates on replacing the system along with my air conditioner and hot water heater as my house is 35 years old. I had to resist pressure from different salesmen when I made my final choice to go with Elite owned by Eric Levy. I spent time and energy figuring out the best way to pay for all this considering that I have no savings and am still very much in credit card debt and also have monthly car payments until January 2018. Finally decided to do an 18 month low interest loan on my Discover card that I can pay back at $250 a month and be done in the nick of time.
Then there were several phone calls from people with loved ones that needed education and guidance regarding aging life choices. On top of that, another group of calls, emails and text messages came in from private clients who needed my input for decisions on how to handle challenges in their lives.
I also devoted time to reading and editing my section in Rachel's book that she is writing. In this book, as a call for action, she is committed to demonstrating the necessity of extensive research in brain health in order to provide better care for people with mental illness because it is not about them - it is about all of us- as innocent sufferers who often get lost and disappear due to the ignorance and neglect of our health care providers and system.
Getting to hot yoga, getting to my second job, meetings over lunch, straightening up the house so cleaners could work, coordinating installation of new HVAC system with my work hours, setting up routine oil change only to learn soon after my arrival, I absolutely needed 4 new tires and front brakes too. Use a loaner car and get to work. Perform at my regular job as a geriatric medical social worker on a dementia evaluation team at a local medical school which includes running a Huntington disease support group the first Wednesday evening of every month. Completing application to attend the Aging Life Association conference in San Antino the first week of May 2017 so I can visit with Rona too and celebrate Cinco de Mayo together in Texas! Make airline and hotel reservations and get it all approved in time for early registration. Choosing to help friends with rides home from hospital and baby sitting for an adolescent son with autism. These are the activities that have consumed my days and nights in the last 2 or 3 weeks. Trying to remember to send out birthday wishes to friends and family, all the while sticking to a diet plan, drinking plenty of water, taking my medication twice a day, got my blood work done. And oh yes, create a power point presentation ready for Monday to give at Lourdes hospital and prepare another one for the residents of Brookdale Voorhees on how to treat those less fortunate than oneself with kindness, after all, they live in the same community as the rest of you and deserve to be there without being bullied for being sick.
So you can imagine a few things about me now. I am not very good at staying in touch by telephone with friends although staying close to them matters a great deal to me. But above all else, I must have a healthy fully functional brain at all times, in order to maintain the high degree of performance that my life requires of me. I can never allow myself to become depressed again. Any disease developing in my brain will not allow me to do all that I do. I am blessed.
"You is kind. You is smart. You is important." Aibileen Clark, The Help ~ Kathryn Stockett
Friday, March 3, 2017
"Naked and Afraid" or Warm and Cozy Under the Covers! You choose !!
I found new meaning in the expression "Naked and Afraid" I know it is a tv show about survival. But it also about how I approach my scale at times. I have lost 20 lbs as of today. This program is allowing me to change my relationship with food. I am looking at food less and less and I am satisfied with less of it as well. It is starting to allow me to become more honest. There is nothing magical about food and emotional eating. It is a temporary solution to a permanent problem which can be one of many things. I can make poor choices because I am bored or because I want to be nice to myself thinking I deserve a treat. I can overeat because I am sad or because I am celebrating. I think my favorite reasons for making poor choices is because I am tired. Eating keeps me awake when I ought to just go to sleep. Slowing, my food choices are coming back into line with my overall goals in life. Which is to live a healthy life of peace and well being and be of service to others.
My life has become very interesting since the beginning of the year. There are others I am helpful to in a few different respects but I am also able to honor my own limits and priorities. I have the freedom to do as I wish now too. I am enjoying being an empty nester. I got to baby sit for a few friends and family. I got to run errands for someone who was getting out of the hospital and bring her home. I go to hot yoga about 3 times a week. I see friends for lunch and go to movies- either alone with a friend. I catch up with my daughter from time to time and visit with her in Philly. I love getting photos on my smart phone from family and friends and reading Facebook too. I am very content. Both of my jobs are going extremely well.
At this moment, I am surprised at myself. Last week, I started shopping for a new Heating and A/C system because mine is over 35 years old...... as old as the house..... which I have owned for 20 plus years. I got 2 estimates. The first guy was here last Saturday so I turned off the system because it was so beautiful out. And the next day when I went to turn it back on , the fan motor said "NO THANK YOU. I AM DONE NOW". The 3 rd company is a company that I used before- Eric Levy from Elite Heating and A/C. And he is my final choice for many reasons and he won't be able to fit me in until sometime next week- He mostly does commercial work now. So I'm home tonight while it is freezing outside without any heat and I am calm. No worries. It will get fixed when it gets fixed. No anxiety.
Although I am a little uncomfortable, I am managing. It will be warmer on Sunday and next week. I only have to be cold for 36 to 48 hours I am guessing. So I will take a hot bath and I do have an electric bed warmer aka mattress pad. As always, it was good talking to you- good night and sweet dreams.
My life has become very interesting since the beginning of the year. There are others I am helpful to in a few different respects but I am also able to honor my own limits and priorities. I have the freedom to do as I wish now too. I am enjoying being an empty nester. I got to baby sit for a few friends and family. I got to run errands for someone who was getting out of the hospital and bring her home. I go to hot yoga about 3 times a week. I see friends for lunch and go to movies- either alone with a friend. I catch up with my daughter from time to time and visit with her in Philly. I love getting photos on my smart phone from family and friends and reading Facebook too. I am very content. Both of my jobs are going extremely well.
At this moment, I am surprised at myself. Last week, I started shopping for a new Heating and A/C system because mine is over 35 years old...... as old as the house..... which I have owned for 20 plus years. I got 2 estimates. The first guy was here last Saturday so I turned off the system because it was so beautiful out. And the next day when I went to turn it back on , the fan motor said "NO THANK YOU. I AM DONE NOW". The 3 rd company is a company that I used before- Eric Levy from Elite Heating and A/C. And he is my final choice for many reasons and he won't be able to fit me in until sometime next week- He mostly does commercial work now. So I'm home tonight while it is freezing outside without any heat and I am calm. No worries. It will get fixed when it gets fixed. No anxiety.
Although I am a little uncomfortable, I am managing. It will be warmer on Sunday and next week. I only have to be cold for 36 to 48 hours I am guessing. So I will take a hot bath and I do have an electric bed warmer aka mattress pad. As always, it was good talking to you- good night and sweet dreams.
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