One would think that I might identify as a fat person but I do not. I am a normal body size person who has become morbidly obese. I am definitely aware that I am eating myself to a slow and painful death. I am in fact becoming disabled. My back and knees hurt when I walk and I limp every time I start out from my chair and desk at work until I can straighten up in a minute or two. It might be mostly muscular as it has gotten much worse since I started at the gym. So for now, that plan is off the table and I am going back to hot yoga next week. At least I did not have pain when I was going there on a regular basis and I was far from crippled then too.
It is a strange experience to be watching yourself destroy yourself. That is what I have been doing. And it was okay with me in some ways. You should hear some of my rationalizations for this behavior. Amazing, I have given myself permission to be weak, to take it easy, to give up, to throw in the towel, to accept failure. To believe that I do not have what it takes to fight my food addiction.
And all the while, all day and night, I help others become who they want to be in their lives. What a painful contradiction I have been living with these 9 years. Part of the pain is that I am helpful to others and they are grateful and part of me wants to continue to be here to make a difference in their lives as well as my own and my daughters and for my family.
I actually have most everything I want in my life. I see people my age get sick and die or become cognitively disabled or physically impaired on a weekly basis. I already know the truth that life is short. I still want my dreams. But I also know, I will NOT be able to have them if I chose to do nothing about my weight and eating.
So I have made a commitment to do a liquid cleanse variation program. My former neighbor, Aby has been doing Isogenics. It sounds similar to what I did when I did Obesity Research at Penn- one meal a day with 2-3 liquid meals and twice a month --- This program includes 2 days of liquid only which they call a deep cleanse. For the last year, every time I try to lose weight, I gain 5 pounds. I am over 250 pounds and I can't manage myself anymore. I miss me and I need to get a bulk of this weight off fast and then deal with eating a more balanced style. I need a spiritual, emotional and physical cleanse like this. My first box will be arriving sometime in the first week of January 2017.
For those of you who disagree with me doing this, please keep your opinions to yourself as I have to do it this way so I can feel some success. I currently feel pretty hopeless.... until I started reading about Aby on Facebook. And I have been miserable and getting more and more depressed and disappointed. I am not ready to sit life out on the side lines and wait to die. We already know I do not do that well so I am fighting to get myself back. The antidepressant gave me my soul and now I must give myself my body back. The trauma is way behind me. What is gone form that is all gone and I choose to no longer let that experience steal my life from me. I deserve a whole life in a healthy body. I am worthy of all my dreams come true. It is not too late. Amen
The Isogenics Cleanse is a whole-body, completely natural nutritional cleansing diet.
Here are my reviews of some of the top meal replacement shakes that are out there. I’ve tasted and graded all of the shakes based on a number of different factors. Just click on the one that most interests you to find out some more details.
SlimFast was one of the original meal replacement shakes. I still remember their old commercials, where they talked about having a shake for breakfast, another one for lunch, and then a sensible dinner. But nostalgia aside, how do their shakes stack up to competition? Read my review and find out. PRICE: A+ It costs $17 [... Read More]
Isagenix Isalean shakes have been getting more and more popular. I personally had no idea why, since I’d never tried that meal replacement shake before. So I thought it was about time that I did. Here’s my review. PRICE: B You can buy a tub of Isagenix for about 40 bucks. That’ll get you 14[... Read More]
I’d heard that IdealShape was supposed to be a pretty decent meal replacement shake. And since it’s cheap (which is explained more below), I figured I’d review it. Here are my thoughts. PRICE: A+ IdealShape is one of the most affordable shakes that I’ve looked at. You can get a 30 day supply for just [... Read More]
I had never heard of Labrada Lean Body shakes before. But after some friends told me about them, I thought it was only fair to check them out. Here’s what I found. PRICE: B+ Losing weight shouldn’t cost a fortune. So whenever I find a meal replacement shake for less than 40 bucks, I’m happy.[... Read More]
I have to admit. I’m a little biased when it comes to GNC. I’ve always been a big fan of their products, so I’ve been dying to try out GNC Total Lean meal replacement shake. I had my fingers crossed in hopes that it wouldn’t disappoint. Here’s my review after the taste test. PRICE: A [... Read More]
I’ve been hearing a lot of good things about Visalus meal replacement shakes, so I thought it was about time that I try it out for myself. Here’s my review. PRICE: A You can buy Visalus shakes a la carte for $45. That gets you 30 servings, which comes to about $1.50 per meal. If [... Read More]
I’ve been hearing nonstop about the Shakeology meal replacement shake. It falls under the BeachBody line of products, which I’m already a big fan of. The only thing that held me back from running out and buying this shake was the price (which you can read about more below). I finally bit the bullet and [... Read More]
Advocare meal replacement shakes have been around for a while now. So I thought it was about time that I had a taste test. Here’s what I found out: PRICE: B- You can get 14 servings of Advocare shakes for about $45. That comes to about $3.20 per meal. That’s a little bit on the [... Read More]
Herbalife has been making weight loss products for years, so I thought it was time that I finally gave them a fair shake (no pun intended). Here are my thoughts on Herbalife’s meal replacement shake. PRICE: A+ You can find Herbalife meal replacement shakes on Amazon for about $30 bucks. That’ll get you 30 servings, [... Read More]
