Tomorrow is my birthday and I will start the day at Radiation. I plan on wearing my birthday candle hat and sunglasses to Radiation...... We all need a sense of humor you know.
Traveling soon after chemotherapy does leave one vulnerable to questions and commnets...... it is the no hair situation that leaves people quite curious. Especially other "survivors". Whispers came my way while in line for food, sitting quietly waiting for the kids or getting fresh towels, even while playing trivia in one of the lounges..... "are you in the middle of treatment?, did you just have chemotherapy?, another one who does not like to wear her hat over her ears....." Always followed by "Me Too"- "I am a 7 year survivor......, look my hair grew back......., it is going to be okay". Many others who have experienced Cancer spoke to me on the cruise- swapping stories of their experiences. It was nice to chat with them - to feel seen and recognized for what I had been through and at the same time, I was always taken back- some how felt invaded by a stranger. Except one woman as she looked just like me. She and I were in the elevator together and she said "another one who does not like to wear her hat over her ears." She actually had left her head uncovered that evening. Our heads looked almost identical. I could have talked more to her as she said Me Too to everything I said.
I planned my cruise before I was diagnosed---- "Me Too"
I rushed my chemo to get it done in time so I could feel well enough for the cruise---- "Me Too"
I am doing radiation when I get back---- "Me Too"
and she added- I became the lady that was going on the Cruise and I said "Me Too".
Then the elevator opened and off she went. Seeing her there made it almost felt normal to be doing this thing---- getting Cancer treatment and living life as if nothing was happening at all.
One remarkable conversation for me was with the daughter of one of our tour guides, Spencer Ambrose of St. Lucia. She was only 18 when she was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Her experience was frightening for me to learn about. She had to spend 6 months living at a hospice in Colombia to receive Chemotherapy and Radiation. Her mother was able to fly over and spend some time with her but for the most part, she was without family or friends during her treatment. Now she moved her bi-annual follow up visits to Belize. And I have about 10 Cancer treatments Centers within an hour of my home and I chose to go to one that is less than 10 minutes from my house-- basically closer to my home than my work is. To quote a famous girl from Kanas, "There is no place like home" especially when home is the United States of America.
And there was some people who asked about my illness and then told me a sad story about an unfortunate friend or relative that was not so lucky as I to be recovering from treatment and moving forward with their lives. I realized those people were still grieving and feeling helpless but I could have done without their sad stories...... maybe because I hear sad stories at work day in and day out. After all, this was my vacation. Which I will tell you all about in great detail soon but right now I need to go to sleep. Sweet Dreams You All.
