Dear Friends and Family
I
am awake with stomach cramps so I figured I would write another update.
I want all of you to know that I love writing these updates. My nephew
Ben suggested I start a blog but I really do not have the desire to jump
through those hoops to create it in that format right now----maybe I
will change my mind later.
For starters- If you prefer NOT to receive these updates, just let me know and I will remove you from the list.
I am doing writing and sending these emails for several reasons-
#1- I love to write
#2
- I receive a great deal of comfort by expressing myself - writing all
of this helps me be visible and express my experience which for some
reason is very satisfying. I cope through self expression when I am in a
deep emotional experience. And trust me- this is going to be deep.
#3- Easiest way I know to keep those that care, informed. No one has to call anyone on my behalf. I can do this one myself.
#4- Reduces margin of error with mis-information about me and my experience.
So here it goes-
PHOTO Below is not VIRTUA but it looks as bad as this.
Oh what at a night! Had a 6 pm
appointment at Cancer chemo center at Virtua. What an adventure in a
odd world- This hospital (Virtua Voorhees) was very recently built and
the decor for cancer patents was totally gross- I once painted my
bathroom the green color of Comet
cleanser and as soon as it hit the wall, I knew it was a mistake- the
whole place is painted and decorated in this foamy type green like Comet
cleanser. The chairs for receiving chemo in are so very hospital like -
it in itself could make a girl nausea. Very unappealing- There are no
curtains, partitions, or wooden cabinets to make the place feel good. A BIG YUCK.
There
are 2 cancer treatment centers at Viruta- The one that I am going to
has longer hours than the other which is part of Fox Chase - after doing
some research, I learned that in some places they are open 24/7. I
will be spending 4 hours there for 4 visits, 3 weeks apart. They are
trying to squeeze me in before the end of the year. and I mean
"squeeze" because they are closed on both up coming holidays so those
patients have already been pushed into Wednesday and Thursdays time
slots if they are usually Friday's patients.
So
I will receive a phone call Monday Morning to tell me where they can
fit me in. I am pushing for Thursday 12-31-2015 so I do not have to
cancel too many people which is what will happen if it Tuesday or
Wednesday of that week. It is a popular time in the MAP program as
family come to town to visit and might want to chat with me.
NOW
as far as the doctor goes, I was taken back. She is was all wound up-
Came into the room, shook my hand and off we went- She said her
"Speech" like she was at an auction- "so your breasts are made to supply
milk and there are 2 common types of breast cancer we see most often
and yours is this kind and what we do here is this and that. And the
risk factors/side effects are thus and such- and a third will do this
and out of that third another will be that..... but :....... My sister
Janet had a question for me to ask so I waited until she took a breath
and jumped in. I said "There are medications that are advertised to be
used to help with fatigue from anemia- are you familiar with those? "Oh
you mean like PROCRIT - We don't do that here!" Well okay then- and on
she went- She got very frustrated as the computer would not let her
submit information to complete the algorithmto put in the start date to pin-point the end date of treatment.
Her
examination of my upper torso and healing sites was like bad sex at a
Fraternity party. I barely knew what she was doing and then it was over.
Very unsatisfying,
AND
I could not complain as I was in a down dog negotiating position. Let
me elaborate. THEY like people to wait 4 weeks after surgery before
starting chemo. That would put me on January 8. NOT GOOD!! It would
mean that my last treatment would be 4 days before leaving on my cruise.
So I went into my social worker mode of begging and flexibility. And
with the shortened work week for the next 2 weeks- it was not an easy
sell. LIKE maybe I could change my plans - not an easy sell ! ( WILL
investigate about travel insurance now though) She wont be there for the
first chemo anyway but they are going to call me and see what they can
do as the lady in charge of making those appointments was not there.
Below is information about the type of chemo I will receive-
"TC
is a regimen or treatment plan that includes a combination of
chemotherapy drugs that your doctor prescribed for the treatment of your
cancer. TC contains: T: Taxotere® (Docetaxel) C: Cytoxan®
(Cyclophosphamide) How is this regimen given? • Docetaxel and
Cyclophosphamide are given into a vein (IV) on day 1 of your
chemotherapy cycle. • This chemotherapy cycle is usually given every 21
days. • Docetaxel will be given IV over 1 hour. • Cyclophosphamide will
be given IV over 30-60 minutes. • Your time in infusion will be longer
than the drug administration times depending on other medications/fluids
given."
The
first time I will be there, I will be seen by one of her associates
and then on Jan 8. I will see her for a "Toxicity check" which is one
week after my first treatment. I had to sign a consent form so they can
order my bag of shit to give me. I got a slip to get blood work also. I
will get medication to reduce my side effects........ OH MY GOD!!! So
she wanted to give me a script for a wig. I politely said. "Oh, I am
not going to do the wig thing- it will be hot and itch- I am gonna do
hats and scarfs". To which she replied- "Take it " she said. "You head
will get cold and you will want a wig" I replied- "Nah- I really don't
think so" to which she said. "Oh yeah- you will want a wig so just take
this anyway--- " so I did.
I
was not sure if she was being a jerk because of me or because she is
just a insensitive person. I had to review my history with her so I did
tell her about my depression and subsequent suicide attempt and yes I am
staying on an antidepressant but I am well now. Or maybe because
Madison's father died young and yes it was an accidental drug overdose
etc.... She did ask about my mother and said "I am sorry" and I said
thank you. God only knows if she believed that my mother's breast cancer
likely did NOT start there. She said Lung cancer does not move to the
breast- I explained that they thought it had actually started in a lower
organ as part of the GI track as she had lower back pain for a while
before discovering the cancer - Her "I am sorry" felt cold and routine
--- I realize why we at NJISA in the MAP Program are so good at our
jobs- we are genuine and authentic with our patients even if we are
saying something that we have said 100 million times before. I see
myself as a patient educator and not a machine that just has to get
through this so I can do something more important.
There is more but I will write more later- I got to go get coffee at Janet's. It is Saturday.
Nancy M. Alterman
my chemo contains these 2 kinds-
Brand name: Cytoxan
Chemical name: Cyclophosphamide
Class: Alkylating agent chemotherapy. Thiotepa is another alkylating agent.
How it works: Alkylating agents weaken or destroy breast cancer cells by damaging the cells’ genetic material.
Uses: Cytoxan usually is given in combination with other chemotherapy medicines. It's typically used:
- after surgery and other treatments to reduce the risk of early-stage breast cancer coming back
- before surgery to shrink large advanced-stage breast cancer tumors
- after surgery and other treatments to treat advanced-stage breast cancer
How it's given: Cytoxan can be taken orally as a pill or given intravenously.
Side effects:
- low white blood cell count
- hair loss
- nausea
- vomiting
- loss of appetite
- sores in mouth or on lips
- diarrhea
- irregular periods -- this can include temporary cessation (usually resume after medication is completed) or permanent cessation of menstrual periods depending on your age and other factors
Brand name: Taxotere
Chemical name: Docetaxel
How it works: Taxanes interfere with the ability of cancer cells to divide.
Uses: Taxotere usually is given in combination with other chemotherapy medicines and is used after surgery to treat:
- advanced-stage breast cancer that isn't responding to doxorubicin
- advanced-stage breast cancer that has spread to other areas of the breast or other parts of the body after treatment with standard chemotherapy medicines
- early-stage breast cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes after surgery
How it's given: Taxotere is given intravenously.
Additional information: Taxotere
uses solvents to dissolve paclitaxel, the main ingredient, so the
medicine can enter the bloodstream. These solvents may make Taxotere
difficult to tolerate while being given. People usually take
pre-medications to minimize reactions to the solvents. In 2011, the U.S.
Food and Drug Administration approved a generic version of Taxotere.
Side effects:
