Well It Is Thanksgiving- A Wonderful American Tradition.

A year ago I learned I had Breast Cancer and now I am through that. Some remaining telltale signs have been left behind by my surgeon's scalpel and chemotherapy's hair curling effects.  I also take a new medication to suppress my estrogen production.

However, Breast Cancer will not be what I think of when I think of 2016. It is the year I turned 60 and went on a fabulous cruise with my daughter and her boyfriend Brian to 8 different islands in the Caribbean. It is the year that I brought school supplies to over 25 kids in St. Lucia with the help of my family and friends and Spencer Ambrose. It is the year that Madison moved to Philadelphia with Brian and their dog Mya into Grace Kelly's former catholic school which was converted into beautiful apartments in East Falls. It is the year that Craig got a cat after he dealt with the passing of his 2 dogs and Art had heart surgery and is now well and strong. Bari and Gary said so long to their eldest as she went off to college. This year, Michael ended his sentence and got to come home and Uncle David moved into a nursing home. It is the year that Rhona, Janet and I pretended to go hiking at Rickets Glen after driving on "Old Bernice Road" and "New Bernice Road". Also this year, Janet and I drove to Knoxville Tennessee to see Jackie and Jay and then stayed in luxury at the Homestead to soak in the Jefferson pools. Patrice and I shared cancer together along with the knowledge of just how big our hearts are to love each other forever and ever, not just as mature women but the goofy school girls we are at heart. My college girl friends and I renewed our love, acceptance and commitment to one another.  Harold became a grandfather as he prepares for his mother to turn 100 this year. The death of his nephew Matt will sting the most of all the horrendous events I experienced in my life. A new social worker was hired at NJISA and David Libon returned to us in the last 12 months. Emie and Dan moved to Maryland and became pregnant.  In 2016, Charlie found himself without a job and considered retiring prematurely. Our family continues to struggle with other issues and come through them stronger and wiser- some of us feel the fear and with effort, shake it off, some continue to grieve and others show empathy for how powerless we can sometimes be on life's stage. Yet, it is our gratitude that fills the air on a daily basis. I am blessed not to be left out or left alone. I am grateful that I finally know what love is and what matters most. 2016 is the year I am at peace with who I am and my life.  And I wish the same, if not better, for all of you.

Grateful

My sister Janet still gets a newspaper in paper format. I think mostly so Charlie can read the sports page in the comfort of his kitchen and still get excited when he reads something news worthy to share with her. What is great about that is I get the rest of the newspaper, sometimes even before they read it themselves- One might say that my sister and brother in law are buying me a daily newspaper. They actually do use that term you know. Whenever I walk into their house which is in my backyard, they will inform me that my newspaper was saved for me and is by the microwave.  Every Wednesday there is a section called "Style and Soul" and I get to read about weddings and new families. So today, I took notice of a special issue coming up for Thanksgiving. They asked readers to submit to them some of the little things in life they are grateful for and I wrote this: 

"After many years of disconnection, I am grateful for connection to myself and to others through the humanity of compassion. I am now certain that my life has meaning and I will never truly be alone. Courage has become my best friend. I can stand visible to all who care to see.  I learned how to let people touch my soul as I have touched theirs and the world is better off with me in it rather than not. I have accepted the gift of this life and all that it entails. I am pleased for that knowing and the comfort that it brings me everyday in the simplest of pleasures."

This last year has helped me hone in on the the simplest of truths which is; I am grateful for everything. 

No more should haves or if only, no more regrets or fears. No more wishes for what could have been but wasn't. No more sorrow for the tragedies I have experienced.  I love all that I have become and all who helped me become it. I am glad to know what shame is, what trauma and horror is, what fear is for I also know what joy is, strength, courage and wisdom too. I do not walk alone and because of that, others will not walk alone either. I will do all that I can to lend myself to others as they become willing to simply be who they are. And embrace themselves with unconditional love. 

Thank you for being my support and witness as I walk through life. Thank you for every kindness offered to me at my lowest points as well as my highest and everything in between. Thank you for all your listening for listening truly is love. And it is in that love, that I can happily rest.  No need to die before my time. Peace is with me in this lifetime because you have not let me be alone.  Thank you again and again.