Here are 5 things you may regret at the end of your life, from a nurse who works with the dying.
Here are 5 things you may regret at the end of your life, from a nurse who works with the dying.
If you had a crystal ball to see what you'd regret as you were dying, would you make changes now?
You might think watching people die would depress a person. It actually taught her how to live.
Bronnie Ware spent years as a palliative care nurse, helping patients
be as comfortable as possible in the time just before their deaths. She
compiled their stories and the most repeated regrets she heard them
utter in their final days.
Do you ever imagine what the final years and months and days of your life will be like?
Shared originally on her blog, "
Inspiration and Chai," here are the top five regrets, with quotes from her blog as she recorded them.
Regret #1: I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
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Look at yourself in the mirror. Are you living your best life right now? What's stopping you?
Dreaming of living a different life than the one you have now? Image by
Jorge Royan.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their
life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how
many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a
half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices
they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise,
until they no longer have it." — Bronnie Ware
Regret #2: I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
This one speaks for itself.
That desk looks like instant stress before the workday has even started. Image by
Alan Cleaver/Flickr.
Regret #3: I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
What if getting the words out is essential to your growth as a human?
Feelings aren't just useless emotions. Expressing them can be the first
step to self-actuating and becoming a newer version of yourself. Image
by
Garry Knight/Flickr.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with
others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never
became who they were truly capable of becoming." — Bronnie Ware
Regret #4: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Is there someone you treasure who you haven't spoken with in much too long?
They're so important to us and somehow we think that "life" getting in
the way is a good enough reason to go without seeing them. Image by
Jason Hutchens.
"Everyone misses their friends when they are dying." — Bronnie Ware
Regret #5: I wish that I had let myself be happier.
If you didn't wake up joyful today, why not? What can you do to change that?
Who was the last person you giggled ridiculously with? Call them. Right now. Image by
Adina Voicu.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end
that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and
habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their
emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them
pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when
deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their
life again." — Bronnie Ware
Were there any regrets on this list that felt familiar to you? Others that you didn't see listed?
These are five universal wake-up calls we all need to be reminded of.
There's no shame in tagging all the friends you need to call when you share this.
I am still having a cancer experience because as my hair is growing it is developing cute little curls- Amazing but true. I am also told it will not last. My hair will eventually return to its original condition which is mostly straight. It is so soft though- I remember paying $80 for this when I lived in Florida- I would get a perm when my hair was long and let it grow out slowly- Let's see how this goes.
I got measured for my "sleeve" and now they have some with designs not just plain skin color- So I picked a colorful sketch of a bird scene. I will likely get that next week- It is for when I fly or do strenuous things- It is a compression stocking for my left arm where the lymph nodes were removed and had radiation so my lymph system was damaged.
A part of me feels like this happened to someone one else now. Like I just lent my body to the process of treatment- I guess al those years of being disassociated came in handy. I could separate myself from the experience. But I will not forget how sick chemotherapy made me- I understand why people quit. It makes you so sick and lousy. Thinking that it is temporary only relieves the anguish a little. So basically I feel good, I look good and I am happy.
I am going to met with my Cousin Craig soon- I trust hi completely as he is extremely well informed and help me sort out the current political climate- It is overwhelming and not clear cut anymore. So much eludes me with finding the facts in the middle of all the mud slinging and hatred...... the hatred is very frightening. I do not remember a time when there was so much hatred in my fellow Americans.
I will pray for me and all my friends and loved ones but especially for my country and the world to learn to live in peace with one another.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed just how unfair life is- People I know are going places and living in places that I would love to experience too.
And I am expecting to do them in my retirement years. My house is nothing I have ever invested in. My only investment is named Madison. She got a hold of all my resources and now that she is matured and off on her own, I am free to invest differently- as soon as I get out of credit card debt and car loans that is.......
So I got to thinking, I will be quite upset if I die before I get to retire. I am just 60 years old and I am waiting until I can have Medicare to retire from my full time job at Rowan University School of Osteopathic Medicine, New Jersey Institute for Successful Aging and will keep my part time job as a private practitioner for mental health. Successful Aging is not dying and having the mobility to do the things you want to do plus the money to carry it out- Actually- if I knew the date I was dying I would run up my credit cards in the last year of my life. I got about 200,000 dollars in credit limits- that ought to take me to Alaska, Israel, and maybe the Greek islands and a summer down the shore, and a winter in the Florida Keys. My bucket list includes a lot of traveling- Once upon a time, I wanted to sell everything I owned or get rid of it as Madison would say because it is all hand me downs, you know, old people's stuff anyway- and rent an Airstream with a moped on the back of it and see every National Park. Now that surely is unlikely. I wanted to do that with a life partner (aka husband) and that ship has sailed and burned. So as I was thinking, I thought, maybe if I let the universe know how much I really want to retire and have a few good years- like 10 ( I am not too greedy) I will get to do those things and travel to all my dreamy places.
By the way, something NOT on my bucket list is happening this coming weekend. Are you ready for this.... my sisters Janet and Rhona and I are traveling out west----- to Ricketts Glen Pa.... to hike several miles to see several waterfalls- Now ain't that an event to be remembered. Will let you know how it goes. Janet is 68 and Rhona is 66. And you all know my age. Rhona has feet and knees issues, Janet is as slow as they come. and I am quite large and sedentary. Rhona has told Janet it is not hard- which is not really what most of the reviews say. Rhona can say that because she is the only one of us that goes to the gym every day........ I got my hiking poles thank goodness and I also know when to quit! Will report back in a week!
We had a wonderful experience at this state park. Not very many places you can see 22 waterfalls in one hike. They are very nice sized waterfalls too. We only did the loop to see 21 of them and was going to stop at the last one on the way out, since it's close to a parking lot right off the main road. We did that loop in around 4 hours with stops for taking photos on each of the falls. Unfortunately, I forgot to stop at the last waterfall. Most of the hike was pretty easy or moderate, until the last mile or so when you're hiking up, out of the canyon. Of course, you have a lot of steps to climb next to the 94 foot waterfall. Make sure you use the restroom before you head down to hike, as there are no bathrooms on the trail. Bring plenty of water.
I've been here numerous times over the years and the only thing that changes is how much water there is flowing depending on the season and rainfall. The trails can be challenging which is fun but there are many that are easy. The falls are beautiful all the time, especially when there is more water. I love spending the day here and it is a great start park.
Sorry for the delay in writing but I worked last night until after 9 pm. Yesterday I received a phone call from Dr. Wilson with test results from my MRI.... All Good- benign lesions on my bones in certain places and of course arthritis..... along with some other insignificant things..... nothing that has to do with cancer or my future. YIPEE! He also said it will take a few more months before the temperature of my skin returns to normal- Now I have a hot side and cold side, like a faucet at a sink.
So I now I will cope with my hair growing back looking more and more like someone's shaggy bathroom rug...... either that or a poodle's rump. There are layers in the back that are wild and the front is so thick I can do nothing with it. So it is hair hair everywhere again.
Fireworks were fun but then there was a tragedy - a close friend's nephew at the age of 35 was struck by a car while riding a bicycle and was killed. Maybe some of you know him. It was Matthew Von Ohlen, the nephew of Harold Katz. It haunted me for days and days as it felt like murder. I can't stand how vulnerable we all are that life can be over in seconds. And from one person so many other lives are permanently changed forever.
One of the artist I enjoy listening to is Ben Lee- He sings many great songs but I like the line in "We're All In This Together" about there not ever being any protection from human connection" It is hard to be human. Sometimes, it just hurts.
BEN LEE
We're All In This Together
Woke up this morning
I suddenly realized
We're all in this together
I started smiling
Cos you were smiling
And were all in this together
I'm made of atoms
You're made of atoms
And were all in this together
And long division
Just doesn't matter
Cos were all in this together
I saw you walking
In the city
We're all in this together
The city's changing
Cos we are changing
And were all in this together
Every twelve seconds
Someone remembers
That were all in this together
In the kitchen
Of your rent-control apartment
We're all in this together
C'mon baby
I dont mean to rush you
I only wanted to reach out and touch you
I've gotta start to open my heart
I know you think
About jumping ship before it sinks
But were all in this together
Ask a scientist
It's quantum physics
We're all in this together
And on the subway
We feel like strangers
But were all in this together
Yeah I love you and you love her
And she loves him
But were all in this together
Y'know baby
There's never been protection
In all the history of human connection
C'mon darling
It's alright to show me
You don't ever need to be lonely
Once you start to open your heart
I saw you crying
I started crying
Cos were all in this together
And then religion
It's a big decision
But were all in this together
We're all in this together
Brooklyn cyclist was killed in 'deliberate hit-and-run' and hours later NYPD were slammed for handing out pamphlets telling bike riders to 'be responsible'
Matthew von Ohlen, 35, killed after a black Chevrolet slammed into his bike
Investigators believe driver deliberately crashed into von Ohlen
Following day, NYPD handed out flyers telling cyclists to be responsible
Director of Transportation Alternatives: 'NYPD have skewed priorities'
PUBLISHED: 20:01 EST, 10 July 2016 | UPDATED: 23:53 EST, 10 July 2016
A cyclist was 'deliberately killed by a hit and run driver' in Brooklyn during the early hours of last Saturday. Matthew von Ohlen, 35, was killed after a black Chevrolet Camaro slammed into his bike on Grand St. near Manhattan Avenue in Williamsburg at around 2.30am on Saturday July 2, say police. Surveillance footage from the crash and statements from the NYPD suggest that the driver deliberately killed von Ohlen before driving off, while a neighbor told New York Daily News: 'He was killed like a dog in the street.'
The New York Police Department were later slammed for cracking down on 'irresponsible cyclists' the morning after the incident.
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Matthew von Ohlen, 35, (left and right) was killed after a black Chevrolet Camaro slammed into his bike on Grand St. near Manhattan Avenue in Williamsburg
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The 35-year-old bike enthusiast, who had co-founded BikeStock, had been travelling on the cycle lane when the Chevy driver slowed down and the pair exchanged words. Pictured: Grand St. near Manhattan Avenue in Williamsburg
NYC bicyclist killed in suspected intentional hit-and-run
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But the morning after the fatal incident, police were on the Brooklyn street canvasing cyclists and passing out pamphlets about their 'obligations and responsibilities', reported The Village Voice. Paul Steely White, the director of Transportation Alternatives, told the Voice in a statement: 'This is a particularly egregious example of the NYPD's skewed priorities when it comes to traffic enforcement, and of the victim-blaming mentality that pervades the department.'
The 35-year-old bike enthusiast, who had co-founded BikeStock, had been travelling in the cycle lane when the Chevy driver slowed down and the pair exchanged words. t...
Investigators told Pix-11: 'The driver then hit von Ohlen's rear tire and as the victim fell off his bike, the driver slammed into him again, running over him and dragging him about twenty to thirty feet. The driver then sped off, heading east on Grand Street.'
The motorist is believed to have intentionally hit von Ohlen, according to investigators, who are yet to find the driver. A witness called 911 and when officers arrived, they found von Ohlen lying in the street with 'severe trauma' to his body, police told Pix 11. He was pronounced dead in hospital. Von Ohlen was the twelfth cyclist killed in New York City this year, despite Mayor Bill de Blasio's Vision Zero campaign, which is designed to eliminate pedestrian and cyclist fatalities in New York.
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Surveillance footage from the crash (pictured) and statements from NYPD suggest that the driver deliberately killed von Ohlen before driving off
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The 35-year-old bike enthusiast, who had co-founded BikeStock (pictured) had been travelling on the cycle lane when the Chevy driver slowed down and the pair exchanged words.
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Von Ohlen was the twelfth cyclist killed in New York City this year, despite Mayor Bill de Blasio's Vision Zero campaign, which is designed to eliminate pedestrian and cyclist fatalities in New York. Pictured: Stock image of ghost bike, signifying death of a cyclist.
According to the government site, 'approximately 4,000 New Yorkers are seriously injured and more than 250 are killed each year in traffic crashes.
'Being struck by a vehicle is the leading cause of injury-related death for children under 14, and the second leading cause for seniors. On average, vehicles seriously injure or kill a New Yorker every two hours.' Under the Vision Zero campaign, 50 dangerous intersections have been redesigned and 33 new slow zones have been introduced around the city.
But according to the Voice, de Blasio has a negligible influence on the NYPD, who have generally been fairly reluctant to enforce laws against motorists who injure or kill pedestrians and cyclists.
Anyone with information in the case is urged to call NYPD's anonymous Crime Stoppers hotline at 1-800-577-TIPS, or for Spanish 1-888-57-PISTA.
Grief for an Avid Cyclist Killed in a Brooklyn Hit-and-Run By MEGAN JULA
Thank goodness I am not a worrier- After all, I think I am done with this Cancer stuff- right. Well my very good doctor noticed that the radiologist said something about T11 being cloudy which meant that I needed further examination so he ordered a bone scan to rule out metastasis---which I got Friday the 24th of June - Results- inconclusive. Which I now know is common- So now I am getting a MRI of my Lumbar spine so they can see L 3 and 4 and also T11 will be squeezed in. I know for certain that I do not have Osteoporosis because I took a bone density scan just prior to starting my estrogen lowering medication because that medication is known for damaging your bones. A likely explanation for the cloudiness on my scans at the above mentioned locations is Arthritis or inflammation. My appointment for the MRI is next Friday, July 8 at 430 pm. I am certain I will not get the results of that for almost a week. If that is also inconclusive- I will then get a bone biopsy. I promise to stay in touch.
Bone scan
This test shows the entire skeleton, and can sometimes show a bone metastasis that’s not yet causing symptoms. It’s best at showing metastases that are blastic (where bone is denser).
Bone scans can usually find metastases much earlier than regular x-rays. Bone scans can also be repeated over time to track how the metastases respond to treatments.
Sometimes bone scans fail to find cancer that has spread to the bones. Bone scans have a harder time detecting metastases that are purely osteolytic (where bone is less dense).
Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI)
MRI scans use radio waves and strong magnets instead of x-rays to make very detailed pictures of parts of the body. Like a CT scan, MRI produces detailed cross-sectional slices of the body.
Because an MRI scan is very useful for looking at the spine and spinal cord, it’s the standard test used if spinal cord compression is suspected. MRIs are also good at finding problems in bones and joints. Often an MRI scan is done to better define a bone mass seen on an x-ray. MRI scans can usually tell if the mass is likely to be a tumor, an infection, or some type of bone damage from other causes.
I have been on my estrogen suppressing medication now for a little over a month and will stay on it for 5 years- (Anastrozole (marketed under the trade name Arimidex by AstraZeneca) is a non-steroidal[3]aromatase-inhibitingdrugapproved for treatment of breast cancer after surgery, as well as for metastasis in both pre and post-menopausal women. The severity of breast cancer can be increased by estrogen, as sex hormones cause hyperplasia, and differentiation at estrogen receptor sites.[4] Anastrozole works by inhibiting the synthesis of estrogen) So far, I have not noticed any side effects but do have a small rash on my arm which I am not sure if that is related on not. I also recently took a bone scan of my entire spine to rule out bone cancer and will get the results of that next week when my radiation oncologist returns form vacation. There is a good possibility that it won't be conclusive and will need more tests like an MRI of my spine.
Overall I am doing quite well and have started my fireworks "see all that I can see" annual mission. Harold and I went to Princeton's Alumni fireworks around Memorial Day weekend and Janet and I went to the Mann for Tchaikovsky with Fireworks- This year we will be fortunate enough to stay close to home because there are 2 nights of fireworks on the Delaware River. LUCKY US!! Friday & Saturday. See detailed list below! Monday July 4th is the Art Museum. I will be sticking closer to home for many displays like Marlton who usually has great fireworks along with Medford at Freedom Park at 6:00 pm onFriday, July 1st!
Dates:
July 1, 2016 at Dusk
July 2, 2016 at Dusk
Where: Penn's Landing Great Plaza Columbus Boulevard between Market and Walnut Streets City/State/Zip: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania19106 Event Details:
Two nights of music and fireworks; on Friday it’s the Philadelphia Orchestra and Saturday, the United States Army Band play patriotic music followed by huge fireworks displays! The Philadelphia Orchestra Neighborhood Concert & Fireworks Date: Friday, July 1, 2016 Time: 8 p.m. Location: Great Plaza @ Penn’s Landing, 101 S. Columbus Blvd. | Where to Watch Map Now in its 9th year, the world-renowned Philadelphia Orchestra will perform a FREE Neighborhood Concert on the RiverStage at the Great Plaza at Penn’s Landing. Following the orchestral show, enjoy a land-side fireworks display on the Delaware River Waterfront. US Army Band “Pershing’s Own” Concert & Fireworks Date: Saturday, July 2, 2016 Time: 8 p.m. The US Army Band “Pershing’s Own” has delighted audiences with their rousing and rollicking renditions of old standards, new hits and patriotic tunes. The group returns to the Delaware River waterfront this year for another highly anticipated performance. Also highly anticipated: the huge fireworks display that will follow.
4th Of July Fireworks At Washington Crossing Historic Park:
For the first time in more than 20 years, there will be Fourth of July fireworks at Washington Crossing Historic Park. For the first time in more than 20 years, there will be Fourth of July fireworks at Washington Crossing Historic Park.
The festivities get underway July 4 at noon. The daytime celebration will be capped off at dusk with fireworks – the first pyrotechnic display in the park in more than 20 years, park officials said.
During the day, attendees can watch living historians demonstrate their crafts, tour historic buildings, and see a military encampment.
The Declaration of Independence will be read at 12:30, 1:30, 2:30 and 3:30 p.m. At dusk, the fireworks will be visible in the large field diagonal to the park’s Visitor Center.
Admission to the daytime event is $8 for adults (age 12 and over), $4 for children (ages 5-11) and free for those under age five. All proceeds support educational and historical programming in the park. The fireworks are free. The rain date for the fireworks is July 8. The daytime events on July 4 will be held rain or shine. Refreshments will be available for purchase. Washington Crossing Historic Park is located at Routes 32 and 532. To stay up-to-date on what is happening in the park, visitWashingtonCrossingPark.org.
Join us on Sunday July 3rd for our 5th Annual Independence Day Fireworks Festival. This year will be our biggest fireworks display ever & we will be making the event much more comfortable by limiting ticket sales. A limited number of tickets will be sold online only. Call: (609) 268-6731
Cherokee High School Marlton, , NJ Monday, July 4, 2016| 7:00 pm - 11:00 pm
Come to Cherokee High School starting at 7:00pm on Monday, July 4th, to enjoy food and drink from local vendors, then enjoy the fireworks display beginning at 9:30pm. Info
Water Works Field Florence , , Monday, July 11, 2016| Free 9:00 pm - 10:30 pm
On Saturday, July 11, fireworks will be displayed at 9:10 p.m. at the Water Works Field.
Etra Lake Park East Windsor, , NJ Saturday, July 2, 2016| Free 6:00 pm
All area residents are invited to attend the 2016 East Windsor Township Independence Day Celebration! Live Music and Fireworks! Rain date Sunday, July 3. Info: 609-443-4000, ext. 400
Trenton Thunder
Arm & Hammer Park Trenton, , NJ Sunday, July 3, 2016| 7:00 pm
Celebrate the 4th of July a day early with the Thunder! Take in the awe-inspiring majesty of our post-game fireworks spectacular after the game set to a Patriotic musical theme! Tickets: 609-394-3300 ext 101
The largest hot air balloon and music festival in North America. It has 2 hot air balloon ascensions per day of nearly 100 special shapes and sports, concerts, non-stop family entertainment, hundreds of crafters and vendors, great food, fireworks, a balloon glow, and more. (800) HOT-AIR-9
The QuickChek New Jersey Festival of Ballooning is the largest summertime hot air balloon and music festival in North America and is the premiere family entertainment attraction in New Jersey. It holds the dual distinction of being a recipient of The New Jersey Governor's Award for Best Special Event, as well as being designated, for the 6th time, as a Top 100 Festival in North America by the American Bus Association.
Held annually at Solberg Airport in Readington, NJ, the festival truly has something for everyone! From twice daily mass ascensions of over 100 special shape and sport hot air balloons, to headlining concerts, non-stop family entertainment, hundreds of crafters and vendors, great food, fireworks, a balloon glow, a 5k run and more, the festival is jam-packed with stuff to do.Held annually at Solberg Airport in Readington, NJ, the festival truly has something for everyone! From twice daily mass ascensions of over 100 special shape and sport hot air balloons, to headlining concerts, non-stop family entertainment, hundreds of crafters and vendors, great food, fireworks, a balloon glow, a 5k run and more, the festival is jam-packed with stuff to do.
